Jasmin Rodriguez, 34, escaped the clutches of her marriage, with her daughter Emma in tow, to become a successful interior designer. Jasmin had to overcome many fears and obstacles to reach where she is now.
Let’s see what our friend Jasmin has to share?
Jasmin Rodrigez: Age 34, single mother to Emma
Job: The founder of an Interior designing company called ‘Emma’s designs.’
Problem: Mental and Physical abuse by ex-husband for two years.
H: Hi Jasmin, it is good to talk to you after four months. We have been busy, and I love that. I’m sure you have a lot on your plate too.
J: “Oh yes, it has been a lot for me, my daughter, and then my work, and balancing both personal and professional Life gets so much to deal with. A tall order indeed!
H: Oh, I’m sure it has been more demanding for you than where you are now! Especially the traumatic journey you have endured with your ex-husband to your current situation where you are a successful interior designer!
J: Well, in words, when I say it, it has been ‘CHAOTIC!’ Life has not been very easy for me. It has always proved difficult for me to segregate work and my personal Life.
My ex-husband has not been a great support to my career. Before we got married, he promised me all these fairytale lifestyles where I could work my job, be at leisure and meet my friends when I wanted, acting all secure about my man-friends.
But as soon as the marriage happened, things took a 180 change. I walked through something I would like to call ‘Caged-freedom.’ I could not pursue my favorite career as an interior designer because he thought the industry was too surrounded by males, which is crazy!
So I was forced to join a call center as it was his friend’s call center, and he could keep a tap on me, do you believe that! Once I got 140 missed calls within 3 hours when I was working! And when I went home after that, many calls were missed. He slapped me right across the face because I did not respond. And the worst part is I was five months pregnant.
That is when I decided that was it! I needed to leave this pointless relationship where I could not be myself, and I was abused mentally and physically. I walked out with just one suitcase and my documents to my parent’s place. I thank god so much that they were there to help me out.
They were pretty supportive and protected me from all his attempts to reach my child or me. I applied for divorce immediately, and now, five years later, with my beautiful daughter as my cheerleader, I am running my own interior designing company, and I am financially independent. I’m so glad I leaped to get out of that hell.
H: Wow! Just hearing you say all the details makes me feel very heavy in my heart but at the same time proud that you successfully managed to come through so many hurdles. I also appreciate that you moved mountains to build yourself the career you are in now, but I’m sure there would have been some moments where you felt lost/stuck, right? I’m sure you must have gone through quite a lot of emotions.
J: Thank you so much. Yes, it was indeed a very frightful step. And to be honest, the biggest obstacle to taking that step was fear. Fear of many things. Questions started popping up in my head, such as, ‘What if my baby never gets a loving father?’, ‘How am I going to make it financially?’, ‘How will I face my parents?’, ‘How will I explain this to my baby when he/she gets older?’ And the list goes on. But fear was my biggest obstacle. What will come next, and what if I fail, that haunted me for many nights. I remember waking up all sweaty one night with constant nightmares flashing in my head. It was just the worst phase of my life.
H: Oh, I can validate you totally on the concept of fear. Fear drives most of our emotions. That is why we are always so scared to take the first step. We as humans always fear failure and rejection. But hey! You managed to come through all of that, and here you are, the boss lady! I’m sure some motivating factors helped you through those fears.
J: I’m glad you asked me that. And I am sure many other single mothers have been in the same or similar situation where they had no clue what they would do if they stepped out. But in reality, there is one thing every mother should remember. It is their baby that needs them the most.
Yes, my little girl has been my constant support even when she was in my belly. It is a mother’s instinct, but I felt like I got strength from her when I walked out of our house that night. It is to keep in mind that fear is the dominator, and many things drove me past it once I BELIEVED IN MYSELF! Questions that helped me re-evaluate my situation were:
1. What is the point of being in a relationship full of abuse and no self-involvement?
2. What inspires me to be better? Interior designing! God, I am so good with a creative mind; why did I waste so much time with someone who does not even comprehend my value?
3. I have my parents to go to. They are my ultimate support system. Why am I scared to tell them the truth? Do I fear judgment from them? Maybe, but they will not leave me for anything in this world!
4. Most importantly, do I want my child to go through this hell? And that’s when it clicked for me. Not! My child deserves the best in the world, and I have to be prepared for it financially and emotionally. And that was the ultimate booster. Hence I decided to change my destiny as I said I did.
H: You are such a great inspiration to all the single mothers. I am sure you also must be happy to share your story with everybody out there and raise other single mothers on their separate occasions. Tell me more about your regular days now. With all the steps you have taken, some significant improvements have benefitted you, right? Tell me; I’m excited to know!
J: Thank you! I am honored, and yes, you guessed it right. Ummm, what have I changed? Can I say everything? (Laughs) I have been working out, and I have stayed fit by doing yoga and full Zumba training, as I love to dance. I have been going to a therapist for five years to get the right amount of support from the right person, and my therapist has been excellent.
I had developed so many fears, misjudgments, and guilts about myself that needed to be removed, and she helped me a lot! I go on short vacations with my family once every six months and make sure I spend time with my daughter. I also have a successful running company that occupies most of my day. So I have been busy, and I love my new life!
H: That is wonderful, and so many significant changes. Kudos to you! Your daughter is so lucky to have inspiration like you. And to all the single mothers out there too. But I am also curious to know, If I were to ask you to give another single mother any piece of advice, what would it be? Not related to any particular aspect, in general, maybe.
J: Oh yes, I would like to say to all the mothers that they are all superwoman, and they need to remember that change is scary, no denial at that, but take a step. A leap of faith is all you need to be successful, and you will find your strength in some form. For me, it was my parents and my child, so find yours! If I can do it, so can you call? Show the world what you are made of, and kick some butt. Haha, that last bit was funny, but I meant it!
H: That is some excellent advice, mama! I love that and am so happy and proud of your work. Keep doing what you are doing and build a great empire for yourself.
J: Thank you, and my pleasure! I would love to do anything for women who have faced such situations.
Hope this conversation helps with what you can have and what you can let go. It’s never too late to start anything you have ever dreamed of. Best wishes from me and Jasmine to all single moms out there.
