It was 22nd June 2023, when I was skimming through the Reddit Single Parent Community and one venting post caught my attention.
In that heartfelt Reddit post, an anonymous individual opens up about their challenging journey of realizing that their toxic relationship has come to an end. With a baby less than a year old, they express their desire to create a better life for themselves and their child, despite the overwhelming grief and uncertainty that accompanies this decision. And these were the exact words;
“I think about to be joining this community with my baby who is less than a year old. I think my relationship which has become extremely toxic over the past year and a half is officially over. I don’t know how I’m going to do this or what I’m going to do. I know I can’t be with someone who is narcissistic and emotionally and physically abusive toward me anymore. I know my baby doesn’t deserve that life. But man am I grieving the life that I had envisioned for us.
Does this get any better? I’ve been such a horrible mom today, just setting him on his mat to play alone while I cry.“
And I saw myself there. I know I’m not alone felt that when I went through the same. And that’s the reason I’m writing this because I want you guys to know the complexities of leaving a toxic relationship, how can we offer reassurance to ourselves, and how can we move on forward in a way that prioritizes both personal growth and the well-being of the child involved.
Here’s the first thing I want you to know:
1. Know it’s time for the change:
Staying in a toxic relationship can have severe consequences on one’s mental and physical health, as well as that of your child. Emotional, verbal, or physical abuse can create a never-ending cycle of trauma, leading to long-term damage. And we definitely don’t want that for our child.
It’s heartbreaking to watch someone you love destroy your self-esteem and confidence, leaving you feeling trapped and powerless. Enduring the narcissistic and abusive behavior can be a living hell for you and your child.
So the first step towards healing is acknowledging that change is necessary. It takes immense courage to confront the harsh reality and decide that it’s time to leave the toxic relationship behind.
Remember that you are not alone, and there is help available. Seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can guide you through this challenging process. Break free from toxic relationships and start living your life with peace and happiness.
2. The Grief Process: The long process (cry as much as you can)
Leaving a relationship, especially one that involved hopes and dreams for a family, can be an emotionally challenging experience. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, sad, lost, and even guilty after breaking up with your partner. The pain of separation can be unbearable and may make you unable to move on.
The end of a relationship is the end of a dream that you once cherished. It’s like losing a part of yourself. You may feel like everything you once knew has been turned upside down, making it hard to find motivation or joy in anything else.
Remember that healing takes time; taking things slow and allowing yourself to feel the emotions fully is okay. You don’t have to go through this alone – talk to your friends, family, or professional therapists who can provide a safe space for expressing your feelings and navigating through this difficult period. Remember that you will get through this; brighter days are ahead.
3. Your Child’s Well-being Should Come First:
It was January 2018 when I got the fantastic news that I was pregnant and I stupidly thought that things will change after this. But I was wrong, nothing could change. So the only option I had at that time was to leave that toxic relationship for the sake of my unborn child’s happiness.
Leaving an abusive and toxic environment can be a tough decision, especially when you are a parent. It is normal to feel guilty or question your parenting abilities during this transitional phase.
However, staying in an abusive relationship can have long-lasting effects on your child’s mental and physical well-being. The constant exposure to violence and fear can lead to trauma, affect their development, and hinder their chances of success in life.
By leaving the abusive environment, you are taking the necessary steps to provide a stable and loving environment for your child’s growth and development. Engaging in bonding activities and creating positive memories together will help your child thrive despite the challenges you may face.
Once again Remember, you are not alone, and it’s totally fine to ask for help.
You are doing the right thing for yourself and your child by taking this courageous step toward a brighter future!
4. It’s okay to ask for help:
Leaving a toxic relationship is one of the most challenging and emotionally draining experiences anyone can face. It’s normal to feel alone, scared, and unsure about what to do next.
Without support, individuals may feel overwhelmed by the situation and end up staying in toxic relationships longer than they should. This can have severe impacts on their mental health, self-esteem, and overall well-being.
You don’t have to face this alone. Reach out to support networks such as counseling services, helplines, and local support groups that specialize in assisting individuals in similar situations.
These resources can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice on how to navigate through the process of separation and rebuilding your life.
Remember that you deserve a life free from toxicity and abuse. The first step towards healing is reaching out for help.
5. Time to take charge of yourself: Happy self-care time 😉
Toxic relationships can take a heavy emotional toll on individuals, causing them to feel drained, anxious, and emotionally exhausted. Many people struggle to prioritize their own well-being amidst the chaos of a toxic relationship and are left feeling stuck and hopeless.
It’s easy to forget about yourself when you’re in a toxic relationship, but neglecting your own needs can leave you feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to provide the best care for your child or those around you.
At times like these, it is crucial to prioritize self-care and personal growth. By engaging in activities that bring joy and seeking help from professionals, individuals can practice mindfulness and work on healing from past traumas.
Taking charge of your well-being will not only build resilience but also provide an excellent example for your child. Take the first step towards a better life by prioritizing self-care today.
6. Your bright future is awaiting:
Going through a difficult period in life can cause stress, anxiety, and a feeling of being stuck. It’s hard to move on from the past and envision a brighter future.
The burden can be even heavier when you’re a single parent and have to constantly juggle your responsibilities. It’s challenging to find the strength and motivation to move forward, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone.
You deserve a better life, and it’s possible to create it. Embrace the opportunity for personal growth and set goals for yourself, no matter how small they may seem at first. With time and effort, you can achieve your dreams.
Remember that this difficult period is temporary, and focus on building a brighter future for yourself and your child. You’ve got this!
Breaking free from a toxic relationship is one of the most daunting tasks anyone can go through, especially when it involves children. Walking away from someone you once loved is never easy, but when that person has become toxic, it can be an emotionally draining experience.
The constant feelings of guilt and shame, hopelessness, and fear can make it challenging to leave a toxic relationship. You might even start to feel like there’s no way out or that you’re trapped in this situation forever. The thought of your child growing up in a toxic environment terrifies you.
But remember, you deserve better! By recognizing the need for change and seeking support, you are already taking the first step toward creating a new life for yourself and your child.
Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about your well-being, and seek professional help if needed.
With time and patience, things will get better. Remember that you’re not alone in this journey; many people have gone through similar experiences and have come out stronger on the other side.
It’s never too late to create a new vision for your life and provide a safe, nurturing environment for yourself and your child. Take one step at a time toward a healthier and happier future!